Tonight Pat and I had a discussion about why certain people mean so much to him. At the time we were discussing Pat's good friend Patricio. As we talked, we decided that what we love so much about Patricio is that when he looks at Pat, he doesn't see Pat as Wheelchair Pat, or even Pat Wheelchair, but as Pat, who just happens to be in a wheelchair for right now. So many people see the wheelchair first and then Pat as an after thought, but Patricio and also my family have the unique talent of allowing Pat to feel as if they don't really see the wheelchair at all. In fact, I suspect that my ability to make him feel that way is why he fell so head over heels in love with me when we first met.
To illistrate what I mean by this, the first week Pat decided to take his walker to church, we told Patricio about it and he said that he wanted to come with us. When we told him, we must have said something like "Pat is going to walk to church" and we meant of course that we would just be using the walker to walk from the car into the chapel. Patricio showed up at our house before church started, threw his scripture bag over his shoulder and said that he was ready to start our walk. We were so touched to realize that not only did he think that we were walking from our house to the church (several miles) but that he had complete faith that Pat could do it.
We started the whole discussion about Patricio because he left a couple of tennis balls in our mailbox after Pat said that he wanted to use his trusty brown walker to walk at the wedding but it needed new tennis balls. It was so sweet of Patricio to find and bring the tennis balls by based on an innocent side comment from Pat.
We also did a lot of talking about mental wheelchairs and how to tell the difference between someone who just has a physical wheelchair versus someone who has a mental wheelchair. Pat and I decided that a mental wheelchair is what makes the difference between someone accepting their disabilities and letting their progression and growth be stopped and someone who runs and wins a marathon with only one leg.
In watching Pat, I think everyone would agree that if he could just get rid of the mental wheelchair, he would be able to ditch his physical wheelchair in no time. In fact, this afternoon, we had a great demonstration of this when having a picnic at the park. After waiting and waiting for him to walk the few steps to the blanket, I decided that since the ground was grassy and pretty soft, that there was no reason why he couldn't make the rest of the journey on his own so I sat down. He immediately tried to beg, plead etc to get me to stand back up and walk behind him. I continued to refuse and started to make lunch. After a few minutes of standing there waiting for me to change my mind, he gave a couple of loud yelling growls and then gave up and fell on top of his walker. He did not hurt himself and while it was so difficult for me to let him do it, it is the only way for him to start to get rid of the mental wheelchair.
If he would just start talking to himself like a prize showdog that says to himself "Look at me and what I can do. There is nothing I can't do" instead of the whipped puppy with his tail between his legs and his head down that says "Feel sorry for me, I am in a wheelchair, I can't do anything" he would be rid of his wheelchair in no time. But don't we all have mental wheelchairs that we have to escape?
Just know how much we both appreciate all of the love and support, especially those who don't see Pat as wheelchair Pat but as Pat, who just happens to be in a wheelchair for now.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
3 years, can you believe it?
Wednesday was our third anniversary. I came home at 1 pm from work and we celebrated by having Belgium waffles with our brand new waffle iron. Silly, I know but they tasted SOOO good. Pat got a Superman Snuggie which he loved from me and from him I got a two hour nap where he interupted me less than 5 times to wake me up. We had been up so late the night before, I sat on the bed to send an e-mail and the next thing I knew, I was fast asleep. I don't think Pat minded too much because he got to play Madden while I napped. After I woke up, we went out to dinner at Biaggi's in Loveland. The food was excellent. We shared a Spicy chicken pizza that had bacon, basil, and goat cheese and then some pasta which I loved but Pat really didn't like so much. It was butternut squash and walnut ravioli with a brown butter and sage sauce. I think Pat's pallette is quite refined enough to enjoy it but he was a good sport about it. We had planned on dessert but we just didn't have room in our tummies. We finished off the night by watching "Life as we know it" at the movie theater which was very cute, and then shakes at Sonic. It was the best anniverary yet and we are looking forward to many, many more.
Camping out in the living room
Well we thought it would be fun to have a sleepover with our honorary nephews, Ethan (5) and Kaleb (4). And what could be more fun than sleeping in the tent! The boys were so excited about the weekend that they could hardly stand it. We started the evening off by going to McDonald's for dinner. The boys had a great time running back and forth between the tables for bites of food and the play equipment that is designed to look like outer space. After that the boys each got a dollar to spend at the dollar store and Pat helped them pick out a few snacks as well. Ethan picked out a stuffed dinosaur which he named Sweetie and Kaleb picked out a SpongeBob Squarepants squirt gun. On the way home, we went to Jupiter Burger and got an ice-cream cone. I don't know what the boys enjoyed most about it, the ice cream, the changing colored spot lights on the outside of the building, or the idea that we were going to Jupiter for ice cream. (The next time we saw them, they asked if we could go to that Planet again for ice cream, but they couldn't remember the name). When we got home, we had fun chasing the dogs with balloons, which the dogs disliked but the boys loved before crawling into the pup tent to watch movies. Ethan watched about an hour of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles before passing out at about 11, Kaleb made it through the first movie and also The Fox and the Hound before conking out at about 12:30. (I fell asleep before the winter hit).
The boys slept great until about 5:30 when Kaleb woke up in a panic because one of his flip flops had fallen off in the middle of the night. He is OBSESSED with his flip flops, even takes a bath with them. Which is good because it keeps them clean. After comforting him, he crawled into our bed and snuggled right up to Pat. It was so sweet to see, but I couldn't get back to sleep. Ethan woke up at about 7 ready to go home, but I convinced him to stay and go to Safeway to get donuts, milk and juice for breakfast. We had a good chat and it was fun for him to shop, especially when the clerk gave him a Halloween coupon for a free MacDonald's hamburger. When we got back, Kaleb and Pat were up and ready for cereal and donuts.
After breakfast the boys helped me make cupcakes decorated like movie snacks. Their favorite cupcakes had gummy worms on them and my favorite were either the popcorn ones (made with white and yellow mini marshmellows) or the ones covered in pop rocks. At one point Kaleb wanted to go to the bathroom and I sent Pat to help him. After about 10 seconds, Pat started yelling that Kaleb needed my help not his, but I made him tough it out because part of the experience was see how Pat could handle parenting.
Ethan confessed that he was less scared of Pat after the exprience. I realized that a lot of the movie villans have dark facial hair so that might be part of it. Pat did a great job with the boys and it was so touching to see him with the boys. He might not be able bodied yet, but he sure has a great big heart full of love for kids.
The boys slept great until about 5:30 when Kaleb woke up in a panic because one of his flip flops had fallen off in the middle of the night. He is OBSESSED with his flip flops, even takes a bath with them. Which is good because it keeps them clean. After comforting him, he crawled into our bed and snuggled right up to Pat. It was so sweet to see, but I couldn't get back to sleep. Ethan woke up at about 7 ready to go home, but I convinced him to stay and go to Safeway to get donuts, milk and juice for breakfast. We had a good chat and it was fun for him to shop, especially when the clerk gave him a Halloween coupon for a free MacDonald's hamburger. When we got back, Kaleb and Pat were up and ready for cereal and donuts.
After breakfast the boys helped me make cupcakes decorated like movie snacks. Their favorite cupcakes had gummy worms on them and my favorite were either the popcorn ones (made with white and yellow mini marshmellows) or the ones covered in pop rocks. At one point Kaleb wanted to go to the bathroom and I sent Pat to help him. After about 10 seconds, Pat started yelling that Kaleb needed my help not his, but I made him tough it out because part of the experience was see how Pat could handle parenting.
Ethan confessed that he was less scared of Pat after the exprience. I realized that a lot of the movie villans have dark facial hair so that might be part of it. Pat did a great job with the boys and it was so touching to see him with the boys. He might not be able bodied yet, but he sure has a great big heart full of love for kids.
More Family Fun
Saturday - We had pancakes for breakfast, thanks for the help eating up all the odds and ends of syrup, somehow we always end up with 5 or 6 bottles, with just a little left in them. Then we went to the Farmer's market where the girls did some leisurely shopping, and the boys raced through as fast as they could. Then we headed to the Greeley Train Museum. We couldn't believe how much fun was packed into that little building. And of course we just couldn't leave until we found the UNC bear and all of the dinosaurs. Thank heavens for Dad's sharp eyes or we would still be there. Pat loved the first two hours even though he was very displeased that I made him climb the stairs and look over the edge to look down and see the trains (he is VERY scared of heights). By the time we finally left, we were all starving. We had a good lunch at the $1.50 a scoop chinese place. We all got very full and really enjoyed it. From there, we went to the new Habitat for Humanity Store to look around, Pat and I were very surprised to see our donations already on the floor. (Pat saw a few that I donated and decided he wanted to buy them back but I wouldn't let him. LOL) After that the girls went to Hobby Lobby and the boys napped in the car. Then it was time to go get ready to go to the FunPlex for swimming. We had a great time while swimming, Pat especially. Both Mom and Dad decided to stay on the sidelines and watch. At hour number two, I started to ask if anyone was ready to get out, but no one wanted to, even Pat. We finally got out when they closed for the evening. :) Pat did fantastic, he kept himself up and floated by himself most of the time without any assistance. At one point I asked Daniel to take Pat to the deep end because he never got the chance. Daniel agreed and took him over. After a minute I noticed that Daniel wasn't holding on to Pat and I started to worry that Pat would panick when he realized that he was in 10 feet water without anyone holding him. After we got out, Daniel explained that he wasn't a good enough swimmer to be able to swim and hang on to Pat, it was all he could do to stay afloat. Good thing Pat was oblivious and just floated along on his own. It was amazing to realize how far Pat has come in conquering his fear of water. He didn't seem bothered at all that he was floating contentedly along by himself. A really funny moment came when a couple of little boys saw Pat's unoccupied wheelchair and decided to take it for a little spin. Who knew I could shout that far, that loud. :) When we finished swimming, we were all starving so we went to CiCi's for dinner. When I saw how much food the boys and Becky ate, I was very glad that it was so cheap for all you can eat. I am not sure but I think Joel topped out at over 20 slices. Pat just laughed and laughed and laughed.
Sunday - Sunday morning was nice and leisurely. Becky and I started making yummy chocolate cupcakes with milk and white chocolate butterflies and everyone came along to church. It was fun to be with the family at church, and really funny to compare my Herculean brothers next to the Young Men of our ward. In fact, we went to visit Pat's Grandma C before church and I think she was amazed at how much the boys and Becky had grown since their last visit. It was so nice to spend a few minutes with her and to let her talk with my mom. I think that she was really touched when Daniel offered to help, it is so unusual in the Hispanic culture for young men to help out. I think she was able to see our testimonies and hopefully she could see the pure goodness and joy in my family. I know we made a good impression on her. After church, we came home and Daniel and I started dinner while Mom and Becky finished up the cupcakes so we could have a birthday celebration. We must have chopped for hours, but the chicken and snow peas, rice, corn on the cob, and watermelon sure tasted great. After dinner, Mom and I left the boys to clean up and took a cupcake and suckers to my good friend Liz. We tried really hard all weekend to connect with her and it only happened because we surprised her for a few minutes during Sunday movie night. Sorry for the intrusion Liz, but it was so good to see you for a few minutes. When we got home, we sat in the car for a long time talking like we used to when I was growing up. The kids only peeked out a few times... I think they were anxious to eat their cupcakes before Emily had to go. I think they enjoyed them, by the time we came in they were begging for thirds. :) I think my favorite part of the whole trip was getting to talk to my mom for hours face to face. Talking on the phone is okay, but it just isn't the same. The bonus was that Dad and Pat had the kitchen spotless, no small feat considering how many dishes we used on dinner.
Sadly on Monday morning, the family had to leave. We miss them so much! Pat didn't get out of bed to say goodbye because he was afraid he would cry. Oops, I don't think I was supposed to say that part.
Daniel - Pat was so touched by what you told him about how everytime he chooses the wheelchair he takes a step backward. He really feels touched that you are his cheering section and that you think of him.
To Dad, Mom, Daniel, Joel, and Becky - your visit meant the world to us, especially Pat. He feels like he got a huge hug from his family and knows that his cheering section is fully behind him. We can never express how much you mean to us.
Sunday - Sunday morning was nice and leisurely. Becky and I started making yummy chocolate cupcakes with milk and white chocolate butterflies and everyone came along to church. It was fun to be with the family at church, and really funny to compare my Herculean brothers next to the Young Men of our ward. In fact, we went to visit Pat's Grandma C before church and I think she was amazed at how much the boys and Becky had grown since their last visit. It was so nice to spend a few minutes with her and to let her talk with my mom. I think that she was really touched when Daniel offered to help, it is so unusual in the Hispanic culture for young men to help out. I think she was able to see our testimonies and hopefully she could see the pure goodness and joy in my family. I know we made a good impression on her. After church, we came home and Daniel and I started dinner while Mom and Becky finished up the cupcakes so we could have a birthday celebration. We must have chopped for hours, but the chicken and snow peas, rice, corn on the cob, and watermelon sure tasted great. After dinner, Mom and I left the boys to clean up and took a cupcake and suckers to my good friend Liz. We tried really hard all weekend to connect with her and it only happened because we surprised her for a few minutes during Sunday movie night. Sorry for the intrusion Liz, but it was so good to see you for a few minutes. When we got home, we sat in the car for a long time talking like we used to when I was growing up. The kids only peeked out a few times... I think they were anxious to eat their cupcakes before Emily had to go. I think they enjoyed them, by the time we came in they were begging for thirds. :) I think my favorite part of the whole trip was getting to talk to my mom for hours face to face. Talking on the phone is okay, but it just isn't the same. The bonus was that Dad and Pat had the kitchen spotless, no small feat considering how many dishes we used on dinner.
Sadly on Monday morning, the family had to leave. We miss them so much! Pat didn't get out of bed to say goodbye because he was afraid he would cry. Oops, I don't think I was supposed to say that part.
Daniel - Pat was so touched by what you told him about how everytime he chooses the wheelchair he takes a step backward. He really feels touched that you are his cheering section and that you think of him.
To Dad, Mom, Daniel, Joel, and Becky - your visit meant the world to us, especially Pat. He feels like he got a huge hug from his family and knows that his cheering section is fully behind him. We can never express how much you mean to us.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Family Fun
We have been having a fabulous time with the family, it seems crazy that our time together is almost over. So here is a quick recap:
Wednesday - picked up Mom at the aiport, went to a YUMMY celebration lunch at Lone Star Steak House and after some fun shopping at Cato's etc, we decided to head to the gym to work out. By the time we came home we were famished so we polished off our leftovers and had some great chicken mole that Pat had made.
Thursday - we donated some of our excess clutter to charity, and it took up most of the truck. :) Then we went shopping in Loveland but the most exciting things we found were for baby Susan. Since we were starving, we had to hit up Chikilet and share a snack. We headed home to wait for Dad and the kids and it seemed like forever until they got here. We took a nice walk to Saunteramo's where we had a very filling and very good dinner including an appetizer and shared desserts. We were so full that it was hard to walk home. But then we had some fun playing Wii.
sp
Friday - we went to the flea market and the candy store. We all felt like we walked our legs off, especially Pat who did quite a bit of walking at the flea market and then used just his walker to go to and through the candy factory. We are very proud of him, he is doing great. When we got back we made a quick stop at Sprouts so that we could make dinner. For dinner we made whole wheat spagetti with tomato sauce, pesto sauce, summer squash, tomato asiago cheese foccocia bread, and spinach feta cheese foccocia bread. The only thing left at the end was the pesto sauce. Then the boys watched Man of the Year and the girls watched Leap Year and less than half of us made it all the way through without sleeping.
By the time the weekend is all over we are all going to be pooped!
Wednesday - picked up Mom at the aiport, went to a YUMMY celebration lunch at Lone Star Steak House and after some fun shopping at Cato's etc, we decided to head to the gym to work out. By the time we came home we were famished so we polished off our leftovers and had some great chicken mole that Pat had made.
Thursday - we donated some of our excess clutter to charity, and it took up most of the truck. :) Then we went shopping in Loveland but the most exciting things we found were for baby Susan. Since we were starving, we had to hit up Chikilet and share a snack. We headed home to wait for Dad and the kids and it seemed like forever until they got here. We took a nice walk to Saunteramo's where we had a very filling and very good dinner including an appetizer and shared desserts. We were so full that it was hard to walk home. But then we had some fun playing Wii.
sp
Friday - we went to the flea market and the candy store. We all felt like we walked our legs off, especially Pat who did quite a bit of walking at the flea market and then used just his walker to go to and through the candy factory. We are very proud of him, he is doing great. When we got back we made a quick stop at Sprouts so that we could make dinner. For dinner we made whole wheat spagetti with tomato sauce, pesto sauce, summer squash, tomato asiago cheese foccocia bread, and spinach feta cheese foccocia bread. The only thing left at the end was the pesto sauce. Then the boys watched Man of the Year and the girls watched Leap Year and less than half of us made it all the way through without sleeping.
By the time the weekend is all over we are all going to be pooped!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Spoiler alert: Pat's amazing accomplishments
Darth Tator, I just have to say that the spoiler alert is for you. SuperPat is catching up to you and he is going so fast that all you will see is a blur of muscles as he passes. Hope you are working hard also so we can have an awesome celebration!
We have been just so busy, in a good way though that we haven't had time to write about our progress. Amazingly I am the only one awake in our house, has been this way for a couple of hours actually so now seemed like the perfect time. In case you don't know, Mama Spud landed yesterday afternoon and the rest of the tator patch is rolling in this evening.
Mama Spud definantly wins the sweet potato award this week. We are so glad to have her here and you can definately see it in SuperPat's progress. Yesterday evening we convinced Mama Spud that she needed to go work out with us at the gym. I was very impressed at her interest in trying several things and it was great to have someone to pace me on the bike and make me feel so much better that the Elliptical machine kicks my butt. On a side note, I was able to get up to 15 minutes on the Elliptical at a pretty intense level with some sweat, but not as much muscle fatigue. And it feels so good when you are finally able to get off. :)
Anyway, about Pat's progress. He was able to get to 6 minutes on the treadmill and while he was sweating, it wasn't the usual buckets and buckets of sweat. In fact, I honestly believe that he could have done several more minutes with not too much effort but he really didn't want to overdo it. His ability to go longer stretches without taking a break is getting so much better. He did several one minute stretches in a row with only a short repositioning break in between. In fact, he even thought about trying a different hand position. You can see that his body is really relearning it's pace and stance.
And then just when we thought we had really hit our quota of progress for the day, we got into the pool. He had 3 10 minute walking sessions, a large part of which was completely without holding onto the sides or my hands. He still turns in circles but it is getting less and less pronounced and he is catching himself so much better. If I can figure out a way to edit myself out of the video, I really want to get a video or some pictures of him walking the water to post here. You would all be so amazed and touched by his progress.
In fact, after a particuarly long stretch of him walking towards me in a pretty straight line without falling or faltering, I was struck by a really strong memory of a pool session about a year ago. We had been working a little with his physical therapist in the water to learn some exercises that we could do on our own together and I decided just to have him try to take a few steps toward me. If I remember right, he was able to take about five and it was mostly momentum carrying him forward at high speed because he was so scared that he was going to nosedive into the water. It felt like the greatest anniversary present anyone could ever give me at the time and I remember feeling for the first time that maybe he really would be able to walk without any assistance or a cane or crutch sometime in the future.
Now almost a year later to the date, you wouldn't recognize the same person that I had seen then. I have to try really hard to remember sometimes that he really can't walk all by himself when we are in pool. It is so easy just to see him as anyone else just playing and walking around in the pool. He was even able to splash Mama Spud and then continue walking toward me without falling over. Sorry about that Mom, but that is so huge because it shows how much his balance is improving. Pardon me fora short pause while I wipe my tears of joy and gratitude for our blessings off my computer.
The best part of all this is that I know that when the rest of the Spuds get here this evening he is going to re-double his efforts because their praise and attention mean so very much to him. I finally got him to do the languages of love profile and his top two languages are words of affirmation and time together. So many heartfelt thanks to my wonderful family that loves him enough to meet those needs especially after one of the hardest weeks he has every year (both his parent's birthdays were last week and we are on the home stretch to the accident anniversary).
We have been so fortunate to have so many wonderful therapists (physical and otherwise) to come into our lives. We would never have been able to accomplish much of anything without them and I know that Heavenly Father and Pat's family are trying to do all they can to provide these gifts to us.
Well, enough of my ramblings. I just have two closing thoughts. Mama Spud - I think I know what the epression saddle sore means, maybe next time we should try a shorter bike route? :) Spud Family - since you get to come watch Pat walk, does this make you "Spec-tators"?
We have been just so busy, in a good way though that we haven't had time to write about our progress. Amazingly I am the only one awake in our house, has been this way for a couple of hours actually so now seemed like the perfect time. In case you don't know, Mama Spud landed yesterday afternoon and the rest of the tator patch is rolling in this evening.
Mama Spud definantly wins the sweet potato award this week. We are so glad to have her here and you can definately see it in SuperPat's progress. Yesterday evening we convinced Mama Spud that she needed to go work out with us at the gym. I was very impressed at her interest in trying several things and it was great to have someone to pace me on the bike and make me feel so much better that the Elliptical machine kicks my butt. On a side note, I was able to get up to 15 minutes on the Elliptical at a pretty intense level with some sweat, but not as much muscle fatigue. And it feels so good when you are finally able to get off. :)
Anyway, about Pat's progress. He was able to get to 6 minutes on the treadmill and while he was sweating, it wasn't the usual buckets and buckets of sweat. In fact, I honestly believe that he could have done several more minutes with not too much effort but he really didn't want to overdo it. His ability to go longer stretches without taking a break is getting so much better. He did several one minute stretches in a row with only a short repositioning break in between. In fact, he even thought about trying a different hand position. You can see that his body is really relearning it's pace and stance.
And then just when we thought we had really hit our quota of progress for the day, we got into the pool. He had 3 10 minute walking sessions, a large part of which was completely without holding onto the sides or my hands. He still turns in circles but it is getting less and less pronounced and he is catching himself so much better. If I can figure out a way to edit myself out of the video, I really want to get a video or some pictures of him walking the water to post here. You would all be so amazed and touched by his progress.
In fact, after a particuarly long stretch of him walking towards me in a pretty straight line without falling or faltering, I was struck by a really strong memory of a pool session about a year ago. We had been working a little with his physical therapist in the water to learn some exercises that we could do on our own together and I decided just to have him try to take a few steps toward me. If I remember right, he was able to take about five and it was mostly momentum carrying him forward at high speed because he was so scared that he was going to nosedive into the water. It felt like the greatest anniversary present anyone could ever give me at the time and I remember feeling for the first time that maybe he really would be able to walk without any assistance or a cane or crutch sometime in the future.
Now almost a year later to the date, you wouldn't recognize the same person that I had seen then. I have to try really hard to remember sometimes that he really can't walk all by himself when we are in pool. It is so easy just to see him as anyone else just playing and walking around in the pool. He was even able to splash Mama Spud and then continue walking toward me without falling over. Sorry about that Mom, but that is so huge because it shows how much his balance is improving. Pardon me fora short pause while I wipe my tears of joy and gratitude for our blessings off my computer.
The best part of all this is that I know that when the rest of the Spuds get here this evening he is going to re-double his efforts because their praise and attention mean so very much to him. I finally got him to do the languages of love profile and his top two languages are words of affirmation and time together. So many heartfelt thanks to my wonderful family that loves him enough to meet those needs especially after one of the hardest weeks he has every year (both his parent's birthdays were last week and we are on the home stretch to the accident anniversary).
We have been so fortunate to have so many wonderful therapists (physical and otherwise) to come into our lives. We would never have been able to accomplish much of anything without them and I know that Heavenly Father and Pat's family are trying to do all they can to provide these gifts to us.
Well, enough of my ramblings. I just have two closing thoughts. Mama Spud - I think I know what the epression saddle sore means, maybe next time we should try a shorter bike route? :) Spud Family - since you get to come watch Pat walk, does this make you "Spec-tators"?
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