Bonus clip

Pat insisted that I share this video with you because he just loves the way my head jerks back.  BTW, it really, really hurt.  He has a wicked fast throw.

As I watch these videos, I am so proud of him and can't help but think of a few experiences that we have had in the pool that made me think this day would never come.

The first is our anniversary two years ago.  We were at the pool with his physical therapist and he was working on standing up by himself in the water for a whole minute without falling over.  At one point during the session, he took two or three steps by himself.  And I started to cry because I was so amazed that he could do it.

The second isn't quite so positive.  It was about a month and a half ago and it also ended in tears, but not the happy kind.  Pat was on the side of the pool and I told him that we wouldn't be getting out of the pool until he managed to walk the 5 steps from the side of the pool over to me by himself.  I didn't really care if he managed to walk the steps by himself or not, I just wanted him to show some initiative and prove that he could at least try to do something for/by himself.  After about 25 minutes of frustration on my part, and anger on his part that I was being so mean, he attempted a few steps.  But at that point, he only made it 2 1/2 steps before he face-planted.  I remember being so upset and frustrated and thinking that maybe he would never walk.

I never would have thought he would be walking by himself for 60-100 walks across the pool in this short time.  And it makes me really wonder what we will accomplish in the next month and a half!

Pat's walk at the end of the swimming session

Notice the thumbs up at the end of the walk.

He is doing very well and I am amazed every time I watch one of these videos or watch him splashing away like a fish in the water.  You would never guess it but when we moved here, he was terrified of the water.  I practically had to threaten to throw him in head first to get him into the pool.  But the other day, he told me how much he loves swimming.  Guess he has come a long way.

Throwing the ball

Catching the ball

Videos of Pat swimming

I hope this works!  Pat has been begging my mom to come and be our videographer at the pool for the longest time so that we could show you his progress.  Here are a few short clips of what he has been working on.

This is one of his walks at the beginning of the day.  Notice how well he is doing and that he doesn't have anyone walking with him.  We tried to re-create this on land, but it did not work.  :)...   Yet that is.  :)

Looks like I will have to do a separate post for each e-mail.  Stay tuned!

Now he is just showing off :)

On Monday Pat took 50 walks in the pool by himself.

Today, he walked on the treadmill for 15 minutes and then took 50 walks in the pool.

Can't wait to see what he does tomorrow!

Our house is for sale!

Our house is finally on the market and we couldn't be more ready for it to sell!  Pat's conservator put some money into it to make some repairs and we think they turned out really nice.  If you would like to see it, you can go to www.homesincolorado.com and search our address which is 1519 12th Street.  We will keep you posted once we know more.

Walking in water aka Look, No hands Ma!

Pat made me promise to brave the slow internet connections and post about how well he is doing in the swimming pool.  Today he walked the short length of the pool 20 times in about an hour. 

But that isn't the amazing part. The truly incredible thing is that he did it all by himself.  Yes, that's right, no walker, no one holding his hands, no support.  In fact, most of the time I was floating around on my back splashing water at him with my feet.  He has done this a few times before, but never that many times and never without someone to help him turn around once he gets to the other side. 

It could be that he is running scared because I gave him an ultimatum.  Pick up the pace with his walking or find a job.  Guess that tells us which one he would rather do.  :)

SuperPat

Hopefully you haven't been thinking that Pat is not walking because we haven't blogged much lately.  We wanted to keep his progress a surprise for when we went up to Seattle to visit Angie and Lynn and family so that they could be amazed at his accomplishments.  For those who weren't there to see it, Pat has progressed to the point that he uses the walker to get around the house most of time time.  And these days, the only time he has a spotter behind him is when he is feeling funny or when he is going down the stairs.  He has even figured out how to open the bedroom doors on his own.  He is doing just great and we are so proud of him.  (Especially since it means that no one has to follow him into the bathroom anymore.  :)  The next obstacle will be figuring out how to carry things while using the walker, but without using his mouth to carry them. 

One funny thing that he will probably wish I didn't share, but it really shows his progress.  The other evening I was talking on the phone with one of my very close friends and I thought I heard some shouting so I went out into the hall to see what was happening.  To my surprise, here comes Pat striding down the hall with his walker, going as fast as he can with his pants around his ankles.  And then behind him, here comes my brother Joel trying to get him to slow down so that he can pull his pants back up.  The really amazing thing was that the pants weren't even slowing him down at all.  He has come so far.  :)

Keep watching for more updates on SuperPat!

She's here!

We are so happy to announce that we have a new niece that we will be getting to visit in Seattle later this week.  Welcome Kimberly, we can't wait to come and see you!

Just waiting

What have we been up to lately?

We are just waiting for our house in Greeley to be ready to go and be sold.  Also we are waiting for Melissa's brother Daniel to get his mission paperwork submitted so he can go on a mission for our church.  But probably the hardest one of all is waiting for Angie & Lynn's baby to be born.  (But I bet we aren't nearly as anxious as they are).  Here's hoping it will happen soon. 

On a side note, we are missing our Greeley friends a lot and would love to hear from any of you that want to call, text or e-mail us.  (Pat doesn't have texting anymore though, so if you text, you have to text Melissa).

He swims like a fish...

Pat has really been working on increasing his walking and standing time.  We signed up for a gym membership and have been trying to go 3-4 times a week.  Joel and Becky are able to come with us to swim on Friday and Saturday night for free, which has been very nice. 

Pat says "Instead of being afraid, I am just going for it.  I haven't fallen yet but even if I do, I just get bakc up again.  Stay tuned for more exciting adventures in walking..."

Slow but steady

Betcha all have been wondering what we are up to?  We have had a rash of family and a few illnesses (Melissa)  and injuries (Patrick) to go along with a great big heap of walking.  Nothing major, but enough to be really annoying.  Especially the parting gift cold Loren shared with Melissa.  Sometimes sharing is not caring.  :)

For those of you who don't know, my brother Loren returned from a two year church mission to Bogata, Columbia last week.  So all of my immediate family and some of my extended family came to visit.  We had a blast playing for about a week with my 6 brothers and sisters and their family that got to come, but we really missed the two that couldn't.  It felt very strange today to have just Pat and I at home since the kids were in school and Mom and Dad were taking a few of the older sibilings back to college. 

Pat's walking is going really great.  The progress is slower than both he and I would like, but he is really making steady progress.  His latest hurdle is trying to not have a panic attack when his "spotter" walks a few feet behind or in front of him instead of right next to him.  Still working on that one...

Some other highlights from his walking:
- We discovered he can do up to 5 squat thrusts in the pool by himself without holding onto the side or a person.  After about five, he tends to drift a little.  :)

- He can now rescue himself in the pool by going into a backfloat and then standing himself up again.  I love watching this one, but once he gets tired, we have a special handsignal that means "rescue me please".

- He has made a few solo walks with the walker (very, very scary for him, but he did it).

- My dad has gotten him to work on crawling, but just a little bit.  I am hoping for more.

- Several games at a time of bowling while standing on his turn, and yes, he always beats us all.

- Lots of up and down in the chair by himself while playing Wii bowling. 

- Washing lots and lots of dishes while standing up at the sink.  :)

- And we saved the best for last because it will knock the socks off of Andrea.  He voluntarily chose to walk about 45 yards with the forearm crutches with me holding the gate belt but not doing much to support him.

So as you can see, good progress, but still waiting for the big finish.  The next challenge is that the local swimming pool has closed for the Fall/Winter season so we are looking for a new place to do our water walking.  Sounds like at least a 30 minute drive, no matter which way we decide to go.  :)  But the tradeoff for getting to be close to family is worth it. 

Pat's progress

Pat is doing truly amazing with his walking.  Here are some highlights:

- Bowling with the family.  He used a ramp for the first few frames and then he discovered that he was much better when he did it on his own. 

- Walking around the Emmett park part way (keep in mind it was about 100 degrees, so this was quite a feat).  Walking to the Labryinth at the new park in Meridian.  Next time he says he will actually try the Labryinth.  :)

- Swimming in the Emmett pool for a few hours.  Note to self, next time take more sunscreen, most of us were a little pink at the end and Pat was a lobster!

- Getting up and down the stairs in and out of Mom and Dad's house with minimal assistance

- A shopping trip to Costco where he walked around most of the store

And much, much more.  If only it would cool down a bit, he would accomplish even more.  But it has been so very hot, that he gets tired very quickly.  The weather people are predicting triple digit weather again this week. :(

He has only used the wheelchair one time at home, and to get around some stores while shopping.  He is doing really well, his pivoting and turning are improving.  There have been a few times when I have been walking pretty far (or in the other room but don't tell him) while he was walking and he is doing great. 

Hershey

Hershey survived the trip to Idaho just fine, although he sunburned his nose quite badly.  The first night we stopped at my Grandmother's home in eastern Idaho (she lives on a farm in the country).  We let him off the leash and took him for a few walks in the morning.  He loved just rolling and rolling and rolling in the wet grass. 

Now that we are at Melissa's parents in Emmett, he is adjusting well.  He really misses getting to be inside with all of the people though.  Anytime the door opens, he immediately jumps up to see if maybe this time he will get invited in.  And if someone gets into the car, he barks and barks to ask if he can get taken along as well. 

Probably the funniest thing is watching him wriggle his way under the deck, and then try to extract himself quickly when he realizes he is missing something fun.  He has also enjoyed seeing new wildlife, although he doesn't seem to know what to make of the neighbors horses, he just cocks his head and studies them trying to figure out what they are.

Goodbye Greeley

Well the bags and boxes as packed and all that is left is a quick wash for the dog (he smells like dog a little too much) and to pack the vans.  It's hard to believe that it is finally time to go.  I have wanted this for so long, but my wife was the last holdout.  Not because she doesn't want to go, but this was like home to her.  To both of us really. 

To all of my favorite places to eat.  I will miss you, but there is always another meal around the corner. 

To all of our great friends and most of our family here we will miss you all so much, you have been amazing.  (Those that we won't miss, I think you know who you are). 

Goodbye to Greeley for now, Emmett Here We Come.

How's Pat doing?

Pat is doing great actually.  He hasn't been walking quite as much as I would like, but we are building up to it.  :) I figured we would start by having him get up at 8 or 8:30ish every morning (he is not loving that).  But I am used to getting up early, so my day is halfway done before he starts to stir. 

This afternoon we went to the Discovery Bay Pool with some family friends.  For those of you who haven't been there, we highly recommend it.  There are a couple of really great waterslides, an awesome wading pool, a lazy river (although the current is much stronger than the current on the one at the FunPlex) and a nice regular pool that goes as high as 5 feet deep.  Pat did quite a bit of walking, he will be super sore tomorrow.  He was able to take a lot of steps on his own in the water and kept his balance very well, except for the Lazy River.  We think they should rename it the Rapid River, since the current kept pulling him away from me and then moving us both along much faster than we were comfortable with. 

If that wasn't enough walking for him, I got him to walk into a frozen yogurt place with me.  As a reward, a very sweet stranger bought both of us some frozen yogurt.  I don't know his name, but his kind words really touched me and I felt so blessed that someone we didn't even know would take the time to acknowledge what we are trying to do together.

Well enough of the fun stuff, now back to packing.  Groan.

Starting off right

Last evening Pat suprised me at work by joining my coworkers in a goodbye party for me.  The surprise was on him though when he couldn't get to the elevator to come up to the second floor because the way was blocked by a pallet of toilets.  But he rallied nicely and made the climb up the stairs in the fastest time I have ever seen him make.  Our sweet friend Bonnie volunteered to manuver around the toilets to bring the chair up the elevator as Pat set off.  He was about 3/4 of the way up the stairs when she got off the elevator.  The whole trip up the stairs took less than 5 minutes. 

And if that wasn't enough showing off, he continued to use his walker for the party and then to get back out to the car as well as again later that evening when we visited some friends.  At one point he had to turn the walker sideways to fit in the space between two desks, it was just a quarter of an inch too small for the walker to fit the regular way.  He did it like a pro and even volunteered to go that way on the way back, even though it meant walking sideways again. 

He did take the elevator back down to the first floor instead of taking the stairs, but he used the walker instead of the chair.  I do have to say that I really love watching the look on his face when he goes in an elevator standing up instead of sitting in the chair, it's priceless everytime. 

Pat's challenge should you choose to accept it...

Pat has set a goal for himself to be walking with the walker and no assistance from another person by Labor Day.  He would like to invite anyone else who would like to set their own personal goals to join him and use him as their pace setter (Mom - he wants you to join because he wants lots of candy bars).  Daniel, he would really like you to join him since you were his first pen pal, he might have said something about a target on your back, but I really didn't understand where he was going with it. 

To meet his goal, he will be working his tail off.  This looks like:
- Walking and not choosing to use the chair in the house for daily activities
- Not taking the easy road i.e. not letting someone do things for him that he can do himself
- Always getting up to try again

- Trying something new and challenging every day

• Mom - he says his goal is to learn to vaccum with the walker, so guess what our first hurdle will be :)
• Dad - he would like to learn to shoot your BB gun from a standing position so that he can kill some of those pesky birds for you
• Hershey - he would like to take you for a walk around Dad's property without you eating any of Dad's veg
• Melissa - he will learn to put his equipment (chair/walker) in the car and get it out again

To reward himself he will:
- Put a quarter into a savings jar to use on a celebratory trip to Big Jud's
- He will do a chore with his walker for someone to earn the quarter.  Melissa will donate the quarters if people will help find chores he can do.

To join his challenge is very simple.  Just make a goal for yourself and find a way to reward/motivate yourself.  If you mess up, figure out how/why you messed up and don't do it again the next time.  Easy right?

If you don't want to join Pat's challenge, you can still show your support by suggesting ways that he can do household chores with his walker or helping us find ways to get him more mobile.

A new speed record

Tonight Pat walked a whole lap (1/4 mile) at the track with only one rest break in under 30 minutes.  I don't think he has ever walked that fast before.  He says it was pretty simple (but he didn't ask if I wanted to do another lap when we were done).  We'll see how sore he is tomorrow.  I hope everyone in Idaho is ready to dust of their walking or running shoes because Pat is going to make sure you get good use out of them.  :)

Nerves of Steel or Steel full of nerves?

I thought I had nerves of steel.  Has anyone ever been so anxious for something they have wanted for so long and then it comes true? In about two weeks one of my dreams that I've been longing for will be coming true. But  let me tell you something else that mom and the wife thought I should let everyone know.  Just what I've been doing lately.

Thursday Melissa and I went to pick up our friend Julie. We went to Walmart. We went to the eye doctor's place, the automotive area, my wife want to do a little clothes shopping and then self check out and last I got got to carry the items to the van and you know what I did that all on my feet. I've never used the self check standing up and it was kind of hard to take the items with my left hand and scan them and then put them into the bag with my right hand but I did it.  I also got my wallet out of my pocket and paid with my debit card standing up too.  It was very tiring, but I was so proud of myself.

Then a little later, we went to King Soopers and got some groceries.  I walked into the store but used an electric cart because my legs were tired.  On the way out of the store I pushed the grocery cart to the car.  I got stuck a bit and had to get unstuck but I did it.  I didn't know how heavy 4 cases of pop were until now though.

Stay tuned...

It's official

Melissa's last day of work with PFC will be July 7th and Melissa's parents will be coming up to help load and drive our remaining stuff to Idaho on the weekend of July 13th.  We have been spending our time packing, cleaning, and working with occasional breaks to house surf on the internet.  We aren't sure yet exactly where we will end up, but will stay with Melissa's parents for a short time while we figure things out. 

One of the sad things is that we compromised by finding our dog Buster a new home.  He is very happy with his new family, but we surely miss him.  We have tried to get Hershey acclimatized to taking longer care trips, and it has been interesting.  We think he is still feeling the strain of Buster's leaving. 

One of the positive things is that Pat's walking just gets better and better every day.  He still isn't terribly fast or strong, but his balance is really improving.  I guess all of those long hours in the pool were really worth it!

Pat's thoughts on the move

Have you ever been really scared in the life you've lived?  Living in one place for many years, I have the opportunity to take my family and take a journey. Making a new life for the ones dearest to my heart. I have had many dreams. Finally my dream is reality!

moving

A new chapter in the lives of Pat and Melissa Ferguson begins soon

Volunteers needed

Pat is in a friendly competition with my family members to see who can make their goals the most time in the next few months.  One of his goals is to walk everyday.  While I am very grateful that he has set this goal, my time is stretched very thin and in order for him to make his goal each day, he has been relying on me to assist him with his walking. 

He (actually really me) is looking for some volunteers who would be willing to donate a little time to come and walk with him.  It can be a little, or a lot, whatever you want to offer.  He just needs someone who is willing to walk behind him, holding on to his belt so he can feel safe enough to concentrate on walking, instead of worrying if he is going to fall.

He does walk pretty slow, but is getting faster every day.  He has a goal of walking unassisted with the walker by the time we move to Idaho, but if he only walks with me, he will never make it.  We have been walking on the track at Heath school, and the treadmill at home (thanks for the loan Devon and Alanna!), and occasionally Wal-Mart, but he doesn't like Wal-Mart much because the floor is glossy and a little slick.  Now that the weather is pretty nice, we have also been talking about taking a walk at the park.

If any of you are close enough and would like to help us with this goal, please let us know.  We welcome any help you want to offer.  And for those of you that are farther away, we appreciate your cheering and prayers more than you can ever know!

News

Since Pat let the cat out of the bag, I better give some details.  :)  Pat and I are working on moving to Idaho to be closer to my family, which is something he has wanted since before we got married.  I think the first time he visited them, he was hooked.  We are tentatively looking at sometime in July, it depends on a few factors such as finding a place to live and me finishing up a big work project so that I can feel comfortable leaving. 

I made a promise to Pat that if he started walking more, we would consider it.  We both felt very strongly impressed at the beginning of April that it was time to start making plans to move right away instead of waiting any longer.  Because of a large restructuring/retraining effort that is going on at my employment, I am spending the entire month of May and June doing a Bootcamp training and making videotape sessions of different items for our representatives, which is even more intense than it sounds.  It will leave them in a good place though, and I can feel like I have done everything necessary to help them be successful after we move.

It is such a bittersweet feeling for both of us because we have so many strong ties and memories of Greeley and this area.  But things have to keep changing in order for us to grow.  We are looking forward to our next endeavour together.  :)

again

4-22-12

Time goes by an I haven't done enough. I push and push myself. I guess I just ain't pushing myself hard enough. I can see this is a big problem. The LORD tells us to giving everything we got. Until we can't give anymore. It seems like I did that once already, and he still took them. My family. That just  can't happen again. I'm trying so hard. I'm going to have to go an look for a job. A forty hour working job. Or walk for forty hours in a week. I ain't being the man I was meant to be.The over all goal is to be like heavenly father.

Getting ready

04-20-12

Here soon my beautiful and I will be moving to Idaho to be closer to to my wife's parents. Hey they are my parents now. When I put put my beautiful it's my wife.

Once again

04-19-12

Once again I Did it, Yesterday at the track, I walked half a mile . It took me longer then it did the time before.

The things I ded

From 04-17-12

From a very young age I was taught  how to do many things. Right or wrong, It didn't matter I just did them. I didn't know it was not right for me to have been dating at a very young age. I got my first kiss when I was in the first grade. I was made fun of, so I would fight and fight and win. When now to even fight giving in to temptation is wrong so now I say I lost.  I remember I was in the second grade I was taking A math  test in side my desk I had all the right answers. I was cheating .

motitvation

From 04-11-12

Many things have been my motivation sorry about my spelling. "What is it theses days "I think it's just life and the things I can gain from  working hard. Trust me I am working hard.

it ain't easy

From 04-08-12

Some things are meant to be hard. For me it seems like thing are getting alot easier. I remember be in the hospital. It was hard to keep my head up, but I thought I was tough. At the time. I couldn't hold my head up they used to strap my head to the head rest that was on my my chair. I was always angry, it didn't take much effort to make my head fall. So there I was looking pretty dumb. At least once a week at the time my girlfriend she used to go and see me. Heather Gemhlich, The hottest girl in the whole school . At the time I thought cussing was cute, it made me feel in power. Heather and her mom Tammy used to go and see me. There I was cursing out her mom. I think there was not a person that I didn't tell off. But there was another part of me who thought hitting was okay. I would turn my right hand moving my pointer finger back and forth  until someone got close enough to hit. The worst part was when someone would go to see and start talking about my family. That really got to me. I would start screaming, my face would turn red. At times I think I cried a river. I used to pee myself all the time. My grandma tells me this story all the time. My uncle Ben used to go and see me all the time. He and his wife used to drive my grandma all the time. She says that one time I was asking for my mom and dad, and so uncle sat me on his lap all seventy pounds of me he said your mom and dad were in a accident along with your grandma Ferguson and brothers. That moment all I could do was scream. I would get so worked up that I would pass out.  The doctors would tell my family to not bring anything up that happened to my family . The doctors said that I might have a heart attack. I couldn't tell you how long I was in the hospital, I'd say a long time. When someone would take me out side, the sun seemed like it was angry. It would blind me. I needed sun glasses. My uncle Andy would go to see me. One time when he did he took off his glasses and gave them to me.
Then came the day when I got to go home but what home I didn't have a home. I guess their was a court hearing to say who got to take me home.The judged determined that since my grandma Gloria was a nurse I would be in good hands with her.

I just discovered that Pat has been trying to post some things, but doesn't know how to publish them so they were stuck in draft.  The next 8 posts are posts from him.  Guess I should show him which button to hit.  :)

it was sample

4/06/12 Pat: For the past couple of weeks i've been walking around the track at Heath middle school. Yesterday was the farthest that I have ever walked in a short amount of time.  I walked half a mile. Was I suprised?  That I did in the short amount of time that i've been walking, what do you think? I want this so bad the taste of walking is a main course. I am so sick of disapointing. I thought Since I was very young that I was a disapointment. But that was all it was, was I was putting pity on myself. NO more.  Now I'm giving it all I have and then  some. I am not the little kid in the wheelchair that just sits there  waiting for some one to come and help me. No I am the man who wants to do good, wants to be a  better husband, wants to hold my priesthood and have the LORD say ""you see that guy, guy that is my son and i'm very proud of him."  You see before everthing was about pleasing everyone else when the one I should hasve been pleasing was Heavenly Father. All I have to do is my very best. Serious I don't know what was taking me so long. I want to take a walk holding my wife's hand, I want to make up for many things in my life.

Is it just me or am I seeing double?

Yep, that's right, Pat walked TWO whole laps for a total of 1/2 mile tonight.  He is on FIRE! and I can't wait to see what he comes up with next.  Stay tuned for next time folks...  If you want a small preview, please click on the video below.

i did it again

Today was like any other day I thought, but it was not waiting for my wife to get home. I could taste it victory again.This I wanted more out of myself. The first quarter was no problem the next no sweat, the third was tough. Then there was the lap, I new that I was not fully satified yet. it was not the plan to stop at just one lap. Drenched with body sweat I kept going. It was kind of like eating a gooey chocolate brownie with chocolate syrup. I was not done until I passed the finish line on the track. My beautiful wife says it better.

Until then, Pat

it's pat

Pat: Yesterday I accomplished a great thing, I had no doubts, it was just doing it. That was just where I started. Just think where i'll be when i'm finshed, I'm far from  it. I just gave a small taste of what is to come. So put your googles on and brace yourself becasuse where we are going the ride might be a little bumpy.

Wanting it even more

Pat: Today I made it clear to myself that I am not not wasting no one's time. I had a good taste of something I like to call victory. Sure it was a smelly portion :). But like they say you must crawl before you walk. I knew I could do it. Sure I got tired and at times I felt like I couldn't do it, but I did it.

Pat's first lap (but not his last)

Please join me in giving Pat a great  big congratulations on his successful lap around the track at Heath Middle School!!!  For those of you who are not familiar with this school, this track is a quarter of a mile around.  He made a great plan to rest every quarter of the track and drink some water and said when he finished that he felt like he could have done at least one more lap.  (I think he was overly optomistic about his remaining stamina, but that makes me much happier than when he says he can't do it.  :)

When we got home, he still had enough energy to use the walker to get into the house and opened the front door from a standing position for the first time in his life.  Congratulations Pat, we are SO proud of you!

Pat's miracle

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a lengthy post.  But it is worth it, so please read all the way through.

This all started a few weeks ago.  Pat and I had some friends over for dinner and Pat gave the prayer over dinner.  In his prayer, he said something about us being willing to take anything that Heavenly Father wanted to throw our way.  At the time, I remember making some joking comment about Pat having much more faith than me and that we needed to brace ourselves.  Little did I know. :)  That night as I pondered what I would like to fast and pray for this month, I kept coming back to Pat's walking.

During my fast, I prayed with all of my heart that if Pat walking on his own was Heavenly Father's will, that I would be blessed to know how to best assist him and that he would be blessed with a change of heart and a desire to start walking again.  I tried to tell Heavenly Father that if it wasn't right to ask for these things, to keep me from praying about them, but had a stupor of thought when I tried to voice my concern.  That in itself was a testament to me that Heavenly Father wants Pat to walk, which I have always felt, but confirmation is wonderful. 

As I entered the chapel, I was approached by our Gospel Doctrine teacher and asked to substitute for him in a few weeks.  He is an amazing teacher, and I was very tempted to decline but felt impressed by the Spirit that I needed to do this to keep myself open for the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for us.  The lesson that I got to cover was all about feasting on the words of Christ and pressing forward with full purpose of heart.  It was such a blessing to be inspired by ways to help Pat with his walking as I studied and prepared for the class.

During fast and testimony meeting, each speaker inspired me as they talked about how miracles have not ceased and as they shared examples of miracles in their lives.  I felt so touched by them.  One of the speakers quoted one of my favorite scriptures from 2 Nephi 27:2, but he didn't give the reference, just paraphrased it so I had to look it up again.  I will quote it here for those who are unfamiliar.  "For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith."  When I read those words on the page, I felt struck by the Spirit that Pat walking again will be a miracle.  Since Heavenly Father is a God of miracles and He is unchanging, it will happen, according to our faith and Pat's desire.  I can't describe how it felt except to say that I know it for a certainty, there is no doubt in me any longer. 

On my way home from church, I needed to call Pat and let him know that I was stopping at a friend's house to drop something off before I came home.  While we talked, I felt impressed to share my thoughts and feelings about his walking with him.  I can't remember all that I said to him, other than for the first time, I told him how strong my desire for him to walk is.  I also shared with him how often I pour my heart out in prayer for him.  There is one sweet woman in our ward who is in her 90s that tells us every time we see her that she is praying and praying and praying that Pat will walk again.  I reminded him of how his walking would be a testimony of God's power to everyone around him because we all know that it will be a miracle when he walks again.  I shared with him how close I felt he was to making the jump to walking and what a blessing it would be.  I think that he felt for the first time, how possible it really is.

Heavenly Father's timing is impeccable.  March 10th marks 19 years since the accident in which Pat's mother, father, great-grandmother, and two brothers died and Pat was left in the wheelchair.  This has always been such a painful and difficult time for him.  This year, it was very bittersweet I think, but full of healing and hope.

The day before the anniversary of the accident, Pat shared a dream he had with me.  In his dream, he was sitting in his wheelchair in a park.  Suddenly, he saw his mother with her arms outstretched, reaching for him.  He stood up very slowly and took a tentative step.  Before he knew it, he was walking and had walked to his mother.  In his dream, he held her so closely for what felt like an eternity.  In his dream, he kissed her, and then he woke up.  When he told me about his dream, I felt the spirit so strongly.  It is my feeling that this was actually not a dream, but a vision from Heavenly Father.  I felt like his mother was giving him permission to heal and progress as well as showing her love for him and her desire that he walk again. 

A few days later, he had shared another experience with me.  He had been feeling very strongly that his father was asking for forgiveness for the things that had happened when Pat was a child.  Pat had a dream where he saw his father was held captive by the abuse and horrible things in his past.  In his dream, he saw his father kneeling and praying and then looking up at him with eyes that seemed to say "Forgive me for all that you saw from me while you were a child.  Forgive me for not loving you like I should have.  Forgive me for not being the man I was supposed to be.  Forgive me for the accident and the pain you have suffered. Forgive me for not loving your mother where all the love was needed."  At that he woke up and shared with me. 

His third (but hopefully not final) dream was about his desire for the future.  In that dream, he was driving our new minivan.  My mother was in the passenger seat, and I was in the back with our small baby.  The van was loaded with all of our stuff.  He said that my Aunt was driving his convertible in front of us and my father was driving the U-Haul behind us as we moved to our new home.  He felt so good to be driving and to be in charge of his life. 

Since then, he has made a plan to start walking and has actually gotten a few walks under his belt.  It is amazing that even without his orthotics on, he is walking better and standing straighter than he ever has before.  If his left leg was not trembling so much and his endurance was greater, I would have said that there was no break in his walking routine, he is walking so much better. 

As he has developed his walking plan, I am excited for the things he wants to do to walk, but I have been feeling that what he really needs is to get back into the pool.  With my promotions, we were no longer able to afford our gym membership and had to give up our pool time, which was really helping him to progress.  I have been crunching numbers and trying to figure out a way to pay for the membership, but nothing was working.  Today, as we were walking out of the church building, we saw a dear friend of ours.  We talked to her for a few minutes and she started to walk out of the building.  As she reached the door, she turned around and walked right back in.  She asked us if we had ever done water therapy before and I told her that we had but couldn't afford it anymore.  She told us that she has a pool and asked us if we would like to come over and start using it when the weather is warmer.  I am so grateful that she was inspired to talk to us and willing to let us come use her pool.  I feel like this is one more blessing in a long chain of blessings that will lead to Pat walking.

Thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for us and supporting us.  Your prayers have made all the difference.  Please continue to pray with us and support us as we work toward our goal to get Pat walking again.  We love you all!

We're back!!!

I bet some of you have been wondering where we were in the last few months.  It has been a while since we posted, mostly because I remembered the advice from Bambi that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.  For those that are not aware, Pat had virtually stopped walking since the court date except for an occasional jaunt up the stairs to our friends house.  It has been a very discouraging and hard time for both of us.  There is good news to report on that front, but I will save it for my next post.

On another note, in the months since my last post, I have gone through several position changes at work.  The changes are good for my personal and career growth, but they have been rather difficult.  My current title is now Training and Development Supervisor.  This is challenging because since I started with the company in 2007, we have grown from a staff of about 7 patient account representatives to 40, and most of them have been with the company less than 1 year.  To further complicate things, there have been quite a few changes in leadership as well. 

So now my charge is to get all of our new staff up to speed, in compliance with the company policies and vision, and assist the new leadership staff with their growth and training.  So there have been (and will continue to be) lots of long hours, stress, and lots and lots of prayer.  I think we are headed in the right direction and it is a great priveledge to be able to create the training program from scratch, plus it gives me a chance to get back to my love of teaching.  Although, after substituting in Gospel Doctrine today, I realize that I love teaching about the gospel more than anything else in the world.

With my longer hours at work, Pat has had to kick things into high gear at home and has really grown and matured in the last few months.  But I think that we both agree that we enjoy it more when I do the majority of the cooking.  :)

Stay tuned for an update on Pat.