Mental wheelchairs

Tonight Pat and I had a discussion about why certain people mean so much to him.  At the time we were discussing Pat's good friend Patricio.  As we talked, we decided that what we love so much about Patricio is that when he looks at Pat, he doesn't see Pat as Wheelchair Pat, or even Pat Wheelchair, but as Pat, who just happens to be in a wheelchair for right now.  So many people see the wheelchair first and then Pat as an after thought, but Patricio and also my family have the unique talent of allowing Pat to feel as if they don't really see the wheelchair at all.  In fact, I suspect that my ability to make him feel that way is why he fell so head over heels in love with me when we first met. 

To illistrate what I mean by this, the first week Pat decided to take his walker to church, we told Patricio about it and he said that he wanted to come with us.  When we told him, we must have said something like "Pat is going to walk to church" and we meant of course that we would just be using the walker to walk from the car into the chapel.  Patricio showed up at our house before church started, threw his scripture bag over his shoulder and said that he was ready to start our walk.  We were so touched to realize that not only did he think that we were walking from our house to the church (several miles) but that he had complete faith that Pat could do it. 

We started the whole discussion about Patricio because he left a couple of tennis balls in our mailbox after Pat said that he wanted to use his trusty brown walker to walk at the wedding but it needed new tennis balls.  It was so sweet of Patricio to find and bring the tennis balls by based on an innocent side comment from Pat.

We also did a lot of talking about mental wheelchairs and how to tell the difference between someone who just has a physical wheelchair versus someone who has a mental wheelchair.  Pat and I decided that a mental wheelchair is what makes the difference between someone accepting their disabilities and letting their progression and growth be stopped and someone who runs and wins a marathon with only one leg. 

In watching Pat, I think everyone would agree that if he could just get rid of the mental wheelchair, he would be able to ditch his physical wheelchair in no time.  In fact, this afternoon, we had a great demonstration of this when having a picnic at the park.  After waiting and waiting for him to walk the few steps to the blanket, I decided that since the ground was grassy and pretty soft, that there was no reason why he couldn't make the rest of the journey on his own so I sat down.  He immediately tried to beg, plead etc to get me to stand back up and walk behind him.  I continued to refuse and started to make lunch.  After a few minutes of standing there waiting for me to change my mind, he gave a couple of loud yelling growls and then gave up and fell on top of his walker.  He did not hurt himself and while it was so difficult for me to let him do it, it is the only way for him to start to get rid of the mental wheelchair. 

If he would just start talking to himself like a prize showdog that says to himself "Look at me and what I can do.  There is nothing I can't do" instead of the whipped puppy with his tail between his legs and his head down that says "Feel sorry for me, I am in a wheelchair, I can't do anything" he would be rid of his wheelchair in no time.  But don't we all have mental wheelchairs that we have to escape?

Just know how much we both appreciate all of the love and support, especially those who don't see Pat as wheelchair Pat but as Pat, who just happens to be in a wheelchair for now.