Pat's miracle

I apologize in advance, this is going to be a lengthy post.  But it is worth it, so please read all the way through.

This all started a few weeks ago.  Pat and I had some friends over for dinner and Pat gave the prayer over dinner.  In his prayer, he said something about us being willing to take anything that Heavenly Father wanted to throw our way.  At the time, I remember making some joking comment about Pat having much more faith than me and that we needed to brace ourselves.  Little did I know. :)  That night as I pondered what I would like to fast and pray for this month, I kept coming back to Pat's walking.

During my fast, I prayed with all of my heart that if Pat walking on his own was Heavenly Father's will, that I would be blessed to know how to best assist him and that he would be blessed with a change of heart and a desire to start walking again.  I tried to tell Heavenly Father that if it wasn't right to ask for these things, to keep me from praying about them, but had a stupor of thought when I tried to voice my concern.  That in itself was a testament to me that Heavenly Father wants Pat to walk, which I have always felt, but confirmation is wonderful. 

As I entered the chapel, I was approached by our Gospel Doctrine teacher and asked to substitute for him in a few weeks.  He is an amazing teacher, and I was very tempted to decline but felt impressed by the Spirit that I needed to do this to keep myself open for the blessings Heavenly Father has in store for us.  The lesson that I got to cover was all about feasting on the words of Christ and pressing forward with full purpose of heart.  It was such a blessing to be inspired by ways to help Pat with his walking as I studied and prepared for the class.

During fast and testimony meeting, each speaker inspired me as they talked about how miracles have not ceased and as they shared examples of miracles in their lives.  I felt so touched by them.  One of the speakers quoted one of my favorite scriptures from 2 Nephi 27:2, but he didn't give the reference, just paraphrased it so I had to look it up again.  I will quote it here for those who are unfamiliar.  "For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles; and I will show unto the world that I am the same yesterday, today, and forever; and I work not among the children of men save it be according to their faith."  When I read those words on the page, I felt struck by the Spirit that Pat walking again will be a miracle.  Since Heavenly Father is a God of miracles and He is unchanging, it will happen, according to our faith and Pat's desire.  I can't describe how it felt except to say that I know it for a certainty, there is no doubt in me any longer. 

On my way home from church, I needed to call Pat and let him know that I was stopping at a friend's house to drop something off before I came home.  While we talked, I felt impressed to share my thoughts and feelings about his walking with him.  I can't remember all that I said to him, other than for the first time, I told him how strong my desire for him to walk is.  I also shared with him how often I pour my heart out in prayer for him.  There is one sweet woman in our ward who is in her 90s that tells us every time we see her that she is praying and praying and praying that Pat will walk again.  I reminded him of how his walking would be a testimony of God's power to everyone around him because we all know that it will be a miracle when he walks again.  I shared with him how close I felt he was to making the jump to walking and what a blessing it would be.  I think that he felt for the first time, how possible it really is.

Heavenly Father's timing is impeccable.  March 10th marks 19 years since the accident in which Pat's mother, father, great-grandmother, and two brothers died and Pat was left in the wheelchair.  This has always been such a painful and difficult time for him.  This year, it was very bittersweet I think, but full of healing and hope.

The day before the anniversary of the accident, Pat shared a dream he had with me.  In his dream, he was sitting in his wheelchair in a park.  Suddenly, he saw his mother with her arms outstretched, reaching for him.  He stood up very slowly and took a tentative step.  Before he knew it, he was walking and had walked to his mother.  In his dream, he held her so closely for what felt like an eternity.  In his dream, he kissed her, and then he woke up.  When he told me about his dream, I felt the spirit so strongly.  It is my feeling that this was actually not a dream, but a vision from Heavenly Father.  I felt like his mother was giving him permission to heal and progress as well as showing her love for him and her desire that he walk again. 

A few days later, he had shared another experience with me.  He had been feeling very strongly that his father was asking for forgiveness for the things that had happened when Pat was a child.  Pat had a dream where he saw his father was held captive by the abuse and horrible things in his past.  In his dream, he saw his father kneeling and praying and then looking up at him with eyes that seemed to say "Forgive me for all that you saw from me while you were a child.  Forgive me for not loving you like I should have.  Forgive me for not being the man I was supposed to be.  Forgive me for the accident and the pain you have suffered. Forgive me for not loving your mother where all the love was needed."  At that he woke up and shared with me. 

His third (but hopefully not final) dream was about his desire for the future.  In that dream, he was driving our new minivan.  My mother was in the passenger seat, and I was in the back with our small baby.  The van was loaded with all of our stuff.  He said that my Aunt was driving his convertible in front of us and my father was driving the U-Haul behind us as we moved to our new home.  He felt so good to be driving and to be in charge of his life. 

Since then, he has made a plan to start walking and has actually gotten a few walks under his belt.  It is amazing that even without his orthotics on, he is walking better and standing straighter than he ever has before.  If his left leg was not trembling so much and his endurance was greater, I would have said that there was no break in his walking routine, he is walking so much better. 

As he has developed his walking plan, I am excited for the things he wants to do to walk, but I have been feeling that what he really needs is to get back into the pool.  With my promotions, we were no longer able to afford our gym membership and had to give up our pool time, which was really helping him to progress.  I have been crunching numbers and trying to figure out a way to pay for the membership, but nothing was working.  Today, as we were walking out of the church building, we saw a dear friend of ours.  We talked to her for a few minutes and she started to walk out of the building.  As she reached the door, she turned around and walked right back in.  She asked us if we had ever done water therapy before and I told her that we had but couldn't afford it anymore.  She told us that she has a pool and asked us if we would like to come over and start using it when the weather is warmer.  I am so grateful that she was inspired to talk to us and willing to let us come use her pool.  I feel like this is one more blessing in a long chain of blessings that will lead to Pat walking.

Thank you so much to all of you who have been praying for us and supporting us.  Your prayers have made all the difference.  Please continue to pray with us and support us as we work toward our goal to get Pat walking again.  We love you all!