The Anniversary – Pat’s Story

I got up in the morning ready to attack the day, full of energy.  I felt good that I am alive, but I also felt really upset that it was the anniversary.  I couldn't see myself dragging, so I didn't.  Picking up Grandma made me happy because it gave me a chance to talk to her but not about the sad things.  I asked her about the good memories and usually she would start talking about me.  About what happened to me and picking at me but she didn't this time.  She answered my questions about my mom and Grandma Ferguson and I could feel her love for them, even though they are gone.

It is hard to talk about and think about the accident, but I won't let myself get upset.  To make myself feel better we did some good deeds for other people.  I gave a flower to one woman who thanked me and then later as she was driving away, she stopped me and thanked me again.  She told me that it really made her day and she smiled at me.   

At one car, I felt embarrassed when I saw a man getting into the car but then he handed the flower to his wife and that made my day.  It was neat to see people's reaction to this random act of kindness.  I felt so good that I had made several people smile and so thankful that I could bless people's lives like that.  Next year I want to do the same type of thing. I am so grateful that my wife helped me do something great like that.

The rest of the day I felt pumped up from the flowers, but it was hard not to think about my family.  I carry my family in my heart and I know that they are always with me.  I am deeply grateful that I got to know them for a brief moment in my life.  I am saddened that I can't hold them and kiss them.  I would love to hold them and tell them one last time how grateful that I am to have them as my family and how much I love them.

Words can't express how much I love them and how much I miss them.  And I know that they will always watch over me.  If I could say one thing to them, I would say look what I have done.  Look at my life.  I have the gospel, I choose the right.  I choose to follow God and the scriptures.  Hopefully I will live my life in a way that I will someday stand in the presence of God and tell Him how great life has been.  I just wish my family could have gotten to read the Book of Mormon like I have and could have gotten close to the Lord like I have.  I am deeply saddened sometimes that my family could not or would not be baptized in life and had to wait until now.  But I have baptized them now and I know that they have a chance to accept the gospel and now it is all up to them. 

It hurts to think about them but I remember them and honor them every day of my life.  I get up in the morning and I live every day like it will be my last.  If I had words of advice to give to anyone, it would be to Live every day like your last, and eat every meal as if there is no tomorrow.